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Blind date

You wouldn’t know it from sitting across her
but her ravenous appetite is gone

something has happened,
on the banks of this frozen over canal,

she has come undone.
In the distance she hears herself,

her voice doesn’t quiver,
her perfectly manicured nails mock her.

Nothing is as it seems.

All she remembers are two ducks
stuck in a river of ice,

frozen while encircling one another.
Forced rituals of courtship,

unknown mouths splitting her head in two
and spilling the remains in the sea.

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change, illuminations

Measuring time

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No one knows that at the gates of heaven,
the only question asked, is how you spent your time

If we knew that time is measured in page flips,
in the shadows cast by towering trees and in contentment;
we wouldn’t measure time in punctuality and habits
nor squander it on obligations and thieves.

If time keeping didn’t mean trying to contain
but to hold close what is our most precious possession

We would know, that the ladders stacked around lead nowhere
and we would walk past them with no hesitation.
Nature would ravage these unaccustomed limits
and turn them into canopies to read under.

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habit, hope

On Ease

You dream of a place where your body
isn’t the way you protect yourself
where it doesn’t become
the barrier it’s made of itself.

Once in a dream you were infinite like that
everywhere you went- silhouette invisible,
you expanded into oceans, moons & mouths
there was no other.

You reached out and could not see
the edge of your hand, your hair, your breast
everything had turned to forests
claiming you, teaching you how to be.

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illuminations

Not knowing the opposite of wanting

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As I sit here, this moment more perfect
than any I have experienced in years,
I can’t help but smile. This is what it must be
to truly not be wanting
(is there an opposite of wanting?),
this is what it must be like to be her.
A life that sprung with me but was never mine.
Originating from the same place,
seeing the world through the same eyes.
When did the split happen,
deep in the recesses where all life originates?
Or that one decision that created
a clear path where none existed before?
Where I marched on without looking back,
only thinking of the next milestone,
the next question to be answered, a finish line
that could always be seen, but never reached.
While she looked on –
never questioning, always accepting.
Unrelentingly resisting,
the nudges of a world drunk on ambition.

Which is better I cannot know,
the strength to cast aside a life that others create for you,
or the strength to follow it to it’s conclusion.

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habit

Forever and a day

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I once read a story about a woman,
who found emails from her dead fiancé,
and read them to herself every night.
Even the digital, holds on to those we loved.

You’d think everything is ephemeral, a push of a key,
and all evidence disappears. But I still find traces
of your presence here and there are chasms,
even the brightest eyes can’t see.

You only see them when a day spent sketching strangers
turns into a day tracing familiar lines.
Lines that ran across your hand into mine.
Even I can’t draw over paths, on the palms of time.

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hope, illuminations

Set to sea

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Cold winds, blurry eyes, and that gunmetal sky
I have learnt to capture you in a bottle and set you to sea.

Whirling you in the vast ocean of blue,
I hope you find comfort in the deep,
That being taken over by waves, by swings of tides,
the storms inside you, will ebb.

And when on a lone windy island, a little girl finds you
she may uncork- a spring.

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habit

Always

As he leaves, she enters,
As she exits, he arrives,
But almost
This game is never-ending
Always trying to catch up
Never making it in time

The forces that separate are
Brighter, stronger, immediate

This boy with his diamond days
who thinks, there is always time
And this girl with her starless nights
who counts on her fingers all the time

Joined by a thread
Across the equator
Always linked
Always opposing

Always together
Yes?

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