change, illuminations

Stillness

DB978672-D7DE-4298-A825-D3BBD7758B8A

After Mary Oliver, Today

Language comes from life,
a friend said to me recently
commenting on my regret
for a year without song.

But really, I have waited for years,
for letters to arrive,
for them to make their way to this hold;
this temple; this mountaintop.

Waited reluctantly perhaps, for love,
surely for life, certainly for language;
to come find, me in my stillness,
this new alphabet I’m trying to learn.

Like once, in a repainting, how you found concealed,
a set of doors that you didn’t know existed,
and decided to open them out, having stood folded,
patiently for half a century and more.

So tell me now, shall I have chased it instead?
Like I always have and if so, how do I find out,
if life is in the finding
or being found?

Standard
habit, hope, illuminations

A river to forget and another to remember

Here again every evening, like a ritual
I hear this ruckus of seagulls,
so far inland and no signs of rain.
I search for the meaning of this anomaly –
I’ve heard this primal dance predicts
some kind of mishap – a storm, perhaps
the ground suddenly moving underneath.
Equally violent and buoyant are
the games we play with our watches.
Trying to find in mythos an escape
and a healing, even though we know
Lethe only flows in the caves of Hades.
Yet we return again and again flying
to the planes of forgetfulness
looking for subsistence in leavings.

Standard
change, illuminations

You are free to choose

What is to be done with this new
opening and widening of time,
arriving again on the innocence of choice,
and the violence of loss after.
Like finishing a race she
accidentally entered and won,
and could not care for the prize.
Maybe there will be Greece again,
the guardian of the Tomato museum
who sat motionless and calm
in the face of forgotten histories.
Or a cabin in New England,
its streams covered with sheets of calm,
hiding the madness underneath.
When every direction is equal and fair,
choosing also means abandoning.
Today, she begins with her temporary
manufactured contentment, books of poetry,
sunshine and an empty page.
Which shape will this ink take,
she wonders as the river begins to flow.

Standard
illuminations

the grace of an ending

It has been snowing for a few hours
and I have watched each snowflake melt
into the ground, existing only for a moment.
We assign great value to things that last
and people that stay and objects
that we can keep forever.
We preserve fruit, harvest roses
and take a million photographs.
When I was younger, I would capture fireflies
in jars and fists and shirt-pockets,
only to find them dying a few hours later.
I wish we talked more about letting things end with grace.
that we had more words for abandon,
and more ways of appreciating love
that looks more like lightening, than like summer
suddenly bright, and already gone.

Standard
illuminations

It rains all year in Serengeti

Processed With Darkroom

And I’m struck by how easily the profound
& the monumental, live in the same space
as the colorful & the fleeting.

Every afternoon the rains arrive —
even the thunder is quiet here.

Time doesn’t have a fixed unit,
but expands, like the belly of a leopard
perched high after a fresh kill.

Time has the face of satisfied slumber.

The endless afternoons
take up a lifetime & a day
is more pregnant than a decade.

And I am left wondering why anyone
would let themselves be consumed
by anything but the wilderness.


Originally written for The Pastry Box Project

Standard
illuminations

Hippocampus Hippocampus

Screen Shot 2017-08-13 at 10.03.27 PM

1.
I stand on the banks of river Thames,
before crossing the bridge, I pause,
looking over at the water, the wind howling
A plaque diagrams the creatures of this water.
A seahorse is the shape of memory.

2.
This heart moderates,
it has been mild for some time.
Strong currents can do that some time.

3.
I remember now why I have carried it
on my back for a lifetime
studied its origins for months
walked for years backwards
and finally arrived.

4.
Here at this corner
where the ink that was once foreign
has begun to blend in my skin.

Standard
illuminations

Smoke & mirrors

IMG_2053

I look around and see this summer day,
lovers in London fields,
smoke, laughter & mirrors.
Spreadeagled days of content hearts.
But everything is always, just out of reach.
Ships pass in the night,
a sparrow flies into a glass window.
Over and over, unable to understand
the very idea, of something
that seems clear, but isn’t.
A large cage, locked still.
Too often I have felt bound by flesh.
Thought time too linear, limbs too short,
map-makers all too selfish.
This desire to be everyone,
everything & everywhere at once.
Have you felt it too?

Standard